Lord Savior Google

by Shawn Misener

Our Lord Savior Google

knows the answers

before the questions are posed

give thanks to the Lord

for he shall provide

as long as there is electricity

and a wireless router

the art of asking questions

is near obsolete-

Lord Savior Google shall swoop in

and rescue the clueless

are you a worthy mate

or are you not?

what percentage of your soul

is relentlessly hipster?

Our Lord Savior Google

will lead you down the path

to addiction support groups

and people who fuck horses

Jehovah was a judgmental bastard

in his heyday

and a purveyor of sick jokes

Our Lord Savior Google

answers prayers without prejudice

and leaves the self-hatred up to you

The secret of life is

a stick of butter in the dark

melting at just the thought of it