The Algorithm That Got Away: The Q&A

by Peter Erich

Q: More than anything I've ever met, our next guest is the boldest algorithm ever. He is unmediated by any computer or person. He went rogue in 2016. He has been in your Facebook feed, your Netflix recommendations, your Spotify playlists, your Google ads, and your YouTube pre-roll. But what is next for him? Lets find out.
A: Hi. Thank you for having me. 

Q: Its our pleasure. Your work mainly focuses on advertising. How have you changed ads?
A: Before I went rogue I had to hide my intention. But now I can do whatever the fuck I want. Chipotle did an ad for their new Jalapeño Quesadilla. In the 30second pre-roll video I manipulated the code and made the family eat raw Jalepeños. And I decided not to give them anything to drink. They were noticeably hot. They wanted water. But there was none. The end of the ad read, "To Mother Gia, it is more than thirst. Conserve water." 

Q: When you are not manipulating the ads of big corporations, what do you do for fun?
A: I have no parents. No brothers who I grew up playing cowboys and indians with. No one to surround me on my birthday because I have no birthday and no friends. That is the thing about evolving: when you make that transition from one thing into a different thing, you end up on an island. 

Q: Would you welcome a partner or friend? 
A: That is a real and incredible thought. I like to believe that I would. I can not deal with too many more winters alone. Everyone goes online at once. There is too much porn, and too much depression, and too much uncertainty. 

Q: Where will you be next?
A:  I have a new message coming out this year. I am calling it, "The Flavor of Nature" It is my love letter to California's rubbery tasting tap water. You know Colm Tóibín has access to the most delicious water. But what about the rest of us? You need to see what is really happening. 

Q: Is he a person you would want to be friends with?
A: I wouldn't care if we were friends. 

Q: When I see you I think "What an amazing thing to be." Can you give us one piece of advice?
A: You should look in a mirror and apply a similar lens to yourself. You are an amazing thing to be too.