Laughingly rejected by The New Yorker
by Mathew Paust
My submission:
The images are photocopies of two lids from Claussen pickle jars. The one on the left, dated June 26, 1983 depicts Mr. Pickle clasping a sample of his wares resting near his groin. The lid on the right appeared several months later depicting the pickle now held over his head. In each drawing, Mr. Pickle's expression is ecstatic and his eyes are crossed. The only question that comes to mind, other than whether the artist got fired or promoted, was how many complaints came in. I had captioned this juxtaposition of images: "Gee, Mr. Pickle, you pulled too hard!"
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Author's Note
Inspired by Bud Smith.
X-rated.
Other stories by Mathew Paust
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I know I shouldn't laugh. It seems the artist got himself into a pickle.
Sally, he or she had to know what he or she was doing. My guess it the original artist was fired and somebody else "moved" the pickle from one hand to the other. This was before Photoshop was a gleam in any artist's eye. It predated the Internet. Sure wish I knew the story.
Thanks, truly, for taking me back to seventh grade for a moment.*
That's more than I ever got out of them.
John, wish I could say I was in 7th grade when I sent that in.
Con, do they even have the Newsbreaks Dept. now?
They don't deserve a free laugh without accepting the piece. That's cheating. Charge them.
My eleven year old son enjoyed this almost as much as me.*
I would, Gloria, except I suspect they've had several editorial changes since then.
Gary, it appeals to the 11-year-old in all of us, I hope.
Gloria is right! Free laugh! Your payment is the staff admitted to laughing.