You Write Books?

by Larry Strattner



“Somebody told me you write books.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“What are they about?”

“All kinds of stuff. You know. I use my personal experiences and make stories out of them.”

“Really? I've had personal experiences and I don't think any were exciting enough for a story.”

“Well, I make some stuff up and I exaggerate and I fib a lot. Sometimes in my regular life I keep on fibbing. It's a weakness I have.”

“But then it's not a personal experience.”

“Yes it is. It's just tuned up a little. That's why they call it a story.”

“How many stories have you written?”

“About seven, if you just count the books. I write other shorter  stuff that goes here and there.”

“Can I buy your books you wrote on eBay?”

“You mean Amazon. Yeah.”

“Do you sell a lot of books?”

“You bet. Some of them have been runaway best sellers. I'll bet I sold at least five of a couple of the books.”

“Five's not a lot. You can't live on that.”

“Live on it? Hell, you can't buy a can of beer on it.”

“Why do you do it then?”

“I don't know. I can't help myself. I like to do it. There's a word for that. I like the shape of my own words. Sometimes people like me get successful after they're dead.”

“That can't be any fun.”

“It's probably not and I don't feel like being dead, so buy a book. I'd like to get enough cash together to buy a bottle of one of those imported beers.”

“I don't read books.”

“Don't, or can't?”

“Take your pick. I gotta eye-phone.”

“You mean i-phone?”

“Whatever. When your frigging book is on it, I might take a look; or not."