Foundling
by Kathy Fish
They discovered the baby in the grass, under the snapping cotton sheets. The clothesline spun and creaked throwing light, then shadow on his face, his wee head smooth and curved as a doorknob. The woman didn't bend, only drew her hair from her eyes. He smells like Malt-o-Meal, the little girl said, hoisting him. Support his neck, the woman told her. It'll snap like a pencil. Christmas Eve, her husband had packed and fled to Cincinnati. Now as raindrops dotted their arms and the woman's skirt flicked her calves, he came rushing through the gate holding a newspaper over his head, calling, Margaret, Margaret!
|
8
favs |
1308 views
27 comments |
109 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Originally published in Keyhole Magazine.
Other stories by Kathy Fish
Tags
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
The writing in this is so rich that it's hard to believe this is a scant 109 words (according to Fictionaut). Excellent micro, Kathy!
Thank you, Christian!
Fabulous, Kathy. You got it from the git-go with those snapping cotton sheets. This flash is infused with rich imagery and details. And holy moly...what will happen next? So much momentum here. Fav.
Thank you, D'Arcy!
Goodness - Nothing wasted in this one, Kathy. Nicely done.
Thanks so much, Sam!
D'Arcy's right about the momentum - masterfully done, Kathy.
Thanks, Parker! I really appreciate it.
STUNNING. rhythmically has that jayne anne phillips (circa black tickets) feel i so admire yet this is so very yours -- the way you pack in an entire story, the build of images (doorknob, malt-o-meal) to the husband's return: Margaret, Margaret!
really, just amazing
(and a perfect title.)
Wow, thank you, Sara. This means a lot to me.
Okay, Kathy, I'm a believer in micro-fiction now. So great to let the possibilities unfold in my imagination. The shadow on the baby's face and the skirt flicking against the woman's calves were especially vivid for me.
Hi Carol, thanks. I'm glad I have won you over to this form!
Masterfully done. The whole story is rich. The last line is gold bullion. Haunting.
Oh, thank you Bill!
I had to read this a few times to complete a story you offer the reader to write. So well done!
What Susan said. I read it and re-read it and the story flowed in between your guidelines. Great micro.
Thanks for reading it, Susan and Claire!
Yes, masterful, rich story, the story you offer the reader to write, flowed in between your guidelines, haunting last line.
Thank you, J.!
A terrific story, Kathy. Dark, strange, haunting.
Oh thanks for reading this Marcelle!
Fascinating. Wonderful short.
That's it, I'm sending you flowers, Kari. Thanks!
I love the movement in this, the way the wind blows through the scene without saying it's there. And that the one thing not moving much is Margaret--she's got a whole lot of trouble or potential trouble on her hands today! And that one little thing that sets menace in the scene: "it'll snap like a pencil"--the baby, the errant spouse. Damn, you're good!
Stephanie, I'm so happy to get another read on this micro. Thanks for your wonderful comments and fave!
You set a beautiful scene under the clothesline. I admire your magical writing; you put us there and we see the woman brush her hair back. What else could a reader ask? *
Aw, Ramon, thank you for "finding" this one (har har) and for these generous comments. I am partial to this tiny story, for some reason, so it's nice to see it get some more love.