by Jürgen Fauth
When you live in New Orleans, the only time you ever get to see cows is at the Winn-Dixie 24 Hour Super Store, in the back between the dairy and the seafood. I mention this because my girlfriend is from Austria, and she misses cows and talks about them a lot. She misses the rolling green valleys of the Vorarlberg so much it can make her cry just thinking about it. She says it's the prettiest thing you could ever see, the way the roads snake through villages in the snow, the way the quaint houses sit nestled against majestic mountains, the way in the summer the valleys are spotted with cows that graze on pastures with inclines so steep that over generations, certain breeds have developed shorter legs on one side so they can stand up straight.
There are no hills in New Orleans, and there is no snow, and like I said, the only cows you can find are ground up into hamburger meat and cut into T-bones. I like the T-bones, and whenever my girl gets sad about Austria, I take her to the Winn Dixie and we buy the fattest T-bones we can find, and we come home and throw them on the grill. We drink imported beer while we wait, and that makes her happy again. I mean, I'm not sure what exactly cheers her up, whether it's the smell of the beef, the way the cut-up cows remind of Austria, or merely the alcohol, but about two six packs in, by the time we pour Worcestershire sauce over our T-bones and sit down to eat them, she's laughing and not sad about Austria anymore at all.
We owe our happiness to the 24 Hour Super Store.
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An old story for the "Reading our Stories on Video" group. How old is it? It's older than YouTube. It's so old that the video I made for it isn't actually a video but a Macromedia Flash file.
Originally published in Drunken Boat 2000: http://www.drunkenboat.com/db3/
You can watch the movie at:
http://www.drunkenboat.com/db3/fauth/cows.html
cheers!
Really a neat story. I love stories where food is used as an element of exposition. It's so telling about relationships and human nature.
What?! No Schwegmann's?
(MD, N.O. ex-patriate. Domiciled there between the age of 21-31.)
A marvelous piece.
My guess is the alcohol. Excellent story.
This is right up my "alley" (a city word related to Wm. Gass): I've been virtual farming and wondering how snow flies on farms in the South. It snowed in Houston the day snow appeared on the computer screen. I once flew to Houston wearing last night's theater clothes and watched citydweller cows graze near the Asian rug market parking lot: I know the fascination the Austrian girlfriend has for cows of home.
I can relate to the girlfriend, and I love the way the narrator relates to her. And the last line is funny, optimistic and ironic.
This is so dear. I love this too much. It's the movie for me that brings it home - the klunkyness of the available technology suits it too well. It's a great favorite.
i like this a lot. i'm also wondering if you got my message about problems i'm having joining groups, posting comments and even logging in... please e-mail me at noranadj@logosnet.cy.net
I'm getting desperate!!!
Thanks, Nora Nadjarian
fantastic story and no matter how old it may be (historical?) it still works for me...especially being reminded that this is about COWS and not about austria or your relationship or, in fact, said superstore at all...ahead of your time there, jurgen...
Thanks everybody. I still like this too, but it's not nearly as good as Marcy's "Cow Juice," which she wrote as a response to the same prompt. Her story ended up in McSweeney's:
http://www.fictionaut.com/stories/marcy-dermansky/cow-juice
Also, if you happen to know how to turn an swf file into something that can be uploaded to YouTube, I'd love to hear about it!
God, I love the video especially. It sneaks up...
Love the story. Love the video even more.
Servus! Made me feel nostalgic for Austria - and I don't even like cows!
Holy cow! How wonderful is this? And the video is just the sauce on the T-bone. Love it.
The Winn-Dixie. Let's see, we had the Piggly Wiggly. I love t-bone steaks.
What a ride! Enjoyable from start to finish. Star.
Very entertaining. I like that either the Winn-Dixie, beer, or beef made her happy again and not the boyfriend trying to comfort her.
I like the idea of lop-sided cows.
This is a delightful piece...
* from me... for perfect description nostalgia of urban population about"the valleys are spotted with cows that graze on pastures "
Your story evolves into a thoughtful meditation. That is lovely. I heart it.
"We owe our happiness to the 24 Hour Super Store."
Perceptive. I enjoyed this story.