Cost
I dropped my infant brother on his head, and although he screamed for two hours, I didn't tell anyone; the lump went away before anyone came home.
I rifled through the bedside table until I found dirty magazines; I masturbated furiously and put them back exactly as they were.
I watched from the darkness of the landing as he told my mother he didn't want to be a father or a husband or a goddamn cash cow anymore.
I read his email when he left his laptop on while he went to the store.
I saw the cat's collar glint in the headlights before it thudded under my tires; I left the body to be discovered by the owners rather than risk a DUI.
I sobbed alone in the elevator on the way back to my hotel room; we were both flying home the next day, me to my empty house and him to his husband.
I fished his cell phone out of the toilet and put it on the bedside table and didn't tell him.
I slipped the photographs under the front door of my ex's parents' house at two a.m. after their porch went dark.
The accumulated weight of what has gone unseen is more than I can bear.
Really strong piece, and I like how the narrator grows older in these short, staccato stanzas.
One thought - the last line kind of pulled me out of it, and perhaps consider a different kind of final stanza that is not quite so dead on. Just my two cents.
This, John, is absolutely awesome. Even as a series of statements, it tells a linear story, a horrible confession of things that somehow seem not as bad had we known the circumstances yet together, are truly unbearable. I love the way you've simplified each to its core. Personally, I like the ending as it is. It's both a wrap-up and a potential lead-in to one more final, horrifying act. If I could give you an armload of stars on this, I would.
John, such a strong, strong piece. Every statement laced with horror and remorse and guilt. The last line makes me wonder -- what will he do if he can no longer bear the accumulated weight? Peace *
Enjoyed reading this piece, John. Good fit with the challenge.
Agree with the comments about the closing. I really like it ending with the dark porch. Good piece of writing.
I hear you, John. This one gave me the shudders. Fav.
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Thanks so much, all, for the kind comments! I was having a hard time deciding whether I thought this was lame.... you've all convinced me!
Good fit for the challenge. Enjoyed reading.