Things an Old Person Would Say

 Obituaries aren't as much fun

as they used to be.

 

I got a real fright when they said:

Make way for the gravy train.

 

I can't eat ice cream anymore,

either.

I'm finished with chopsticks.

I'm going for the forks. 

But

“That part of life I forgot to live?”

 

That's just not found in the

things-an-old-person-would-say dictionary.