There Are Over 200 Religions In the World

I am the man who was fired from a thousand jobs

I was the model you saw pointing at the gleaming red Maserati

At the Miami Art Fair, as if you did not already see it

I was the girl named Calorie in that infamous diet commercial

I was the boy named Candy Rapper who would make up obnoxious rhymes

Just because he could, until youtube turned into me&youtube

and then the sex channel innertube

 

I have been known to have hot flashes

And reheated flashes and leftover flashes as well

You may have seen flashes of self-image in shallow waters,

But they were mine

I come from the same trailer as you, but a different park

I have epiphanies all the time

And do my best to ignore the consequences 

I'm the one who unpacked the victims' suitcases

After finding out the truth

 

I saw five taggers tagging, and four French hens

I saw them in their pens beside the Seine, refusing to lay eggs

I saw the ultimate Symphonic Moth

Presiding over the whole symphony until they ran him down

With a net during intermission

So that he wouldn't steal the whole show

I saw Vincent Van Gopher sitting in the parking lot

With his ears removed, wearing a purple fur cap with ear flaps

In order to disguise the truth 

And I'm the one who unpacked the victims' suitcases

After finding out the truth

 

Remember me when you get to the place

Where the truth matters again

There are over 200 religions in the world

But the truth always slides out from

Between the teeth of gossip

Sooner or later