" I Know Bernie, I Can Get You In."

by Doug Holder

section break Dedicated to Bernie Maddoff

There was a long line at the men's room.
You know,
when men reach a certain age,
there is an urgency
to their frequent trips.
So I saw an opportunity
I said:
" I know Bernie I can get you in."

"Really?," they said
but I played it coy
"It ain't easy
Bernie doesn't let
just anyone take a quick
trip to the head."

" But you can get us in, right?
They forced money
in my oh-so reluctant hand,
and stampeded to the portals
of the much lauded urinals.

There was the mark of
blood lust in their eyes
" We know Bernie they yelled,"
and pounded on the still-locked door.

They wound up
doing it on the floor.