Where's Waldo?

Over his usual ham sandwich and Pepsi for lunch Uncle Waldo used to often say, “Going out in the dead of night without a flashlight is dangerous” and I'd nod but I kept slipping out, sneaking down my secret path and take a dip in the rich neighbor's pool because Waldo couldn't tell me what to do since he was not my uncle, he was my mother's boyfriend and his name was not Waldo, it was Wallace, but it was my Uncle Waldo to all of our neighbors except sometimes when I would get snagged on the similarity of the two names and blurt out, “Wallace”, and Mom would look around to see who might have noticed and quietly whisper, “Shhhh!”.