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Residual Sulking


by Crabby McGrouchpants


We'll find it, dude, will you quit sulking.  I know, I know IknowIknowIknow . . . I'm sorry, o.k.?  I'm sure we'll find it . . . it's gotta be here, somewhere, right? . . . I mean — ha ha — there's only so many grains of sand . . . o.k., o.k., I know, I know: not funny.  But — shit, you're telling me it was some kind of heirloom?  Was she kidding, or . . . hello? . . . hello— naw, I already looked over there, it's not . . . not kidding.  HO-boy, shit it sure didn't look like it . . . I know I know how many times you want me to tell you I'm sorry, okay?  I'm sorry, I really and truly am . . . I honestly didn't think . . . shit.  Tide's coming in . . . no no no no don't worry, don't worry, we'll find the fuckin' thing . . . dammmit, it's just like me to lose something just as the— HEY!  Is that it?  Is— oh, shit, you're right, it's just a broken bottle . . . FUCK!  Where is the goddamn thing . . . don't worry man, I got your back . . . How?  Well, if it costs that much, I'll buy you a new one . . . It cost how much?

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