Death
by Arun
Do you think we die when we age?
Or when a car runs over our hearts?
We die slowly, minute by minute, every second
By the time you read this, you've died a little
Or when a car runs over our hearts?
We die slowly, minute by minute, every second
By the time you read this, you've died a little
|
1
fav |
1090 views
6 comments |
34 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
The author has not attached a note to this story.
Other stories by Arun
Tags
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
So the moment something is alive it is already dying, the nature of life. I think you can change the form on this to give it more heft, maybe separate each line into two lines.
Entropy well put
Agreed sara t. I like the punch at the end (the entropy) but I don't like the way it comes in.
Yes, we die when we age.
Yes, we probably die if a car runs over our heart.
Sometimes we die suddenly.
Yes, for the last line and I think the last line is a poem in itself. (I think "already" is unnecessary)
awww, I like this. Everybody must face death on the page in his own way, every day. This worked very well for me because it's not run of the mill, there's a person behind it and I see you.
@sara: sounds interesting .. let me try that!
@Michael: thank you :)
@David: should I change the line preceding the last line or the entire poem?
@Bobbi: Thanks for the suggestion .. i will try it
@Finnegan: Thank you ! I really appreciate it :)