Death
by Arun
Do you think we die when we age?
Or when a car runs over our hearts?
We die slowly, minute by minute, every second
By the time you read this, you've died a little
Or when a car runs over our hearts?
We die slowly, minute by minute, every second
By the time you read this, you've died a little
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So the moment something is alive it is already dying, the nature of life. I think you can change the form on this to give it more heft, maybe separate each line into two lines.
Entropy well put
Agreed sara t. I like the punch at the end (the entropy) but I don't like the way it comes in.
Yes, we die when we age.
Yes, we probably die if a car runs over our heart.
Sometimes we die suddenly.
Yes, for the last line and I think the last line is a poem in itself. (I think "already" is unnecessary)
awww, I like this. Everybody must face death on the page in his own way, every day. This worked very well for me because it's not run of the mill, there's a person behind it and I see you.
@sara: sounds interesting .. let me try that!
@Michael: thank you :)
@David: should I change the line preceding the last line or the entire poem?
@Bobbi: Thanks for the suggestion .. i will try it
@Finnegan: Thank you ! I really appreciate it :)