by Ann Bogle

I realized that some people would sooner falsely rumor someone to have committed a serious crime than to say she has cellulite. A.) Does she?

If she does not have cellulite or if the rumorer does not know she has it and yet says it, it serves as slander: derogatory and untrue.

Cellulite is legal to have, by the way.

So I am tempted not by perjury itself but by referring to falsely rumoring crime even outside the courtroom as perjury. I'd hike those steps.

What is the courtroom to high wives? It is a bank in which to buy up. The force seems female. She cannot recall feeling the root of decision.

On that special day, country wives tote the ox on a rope of hemp to court. Who gets the ox? Does one spouse abduct it or its custody shared?

The married stay married and care for each other through any real estate storm. Fifty is an anniversary to them, not an executive start-up.

Tinny laws run through the landscape like barbed wire: stay home, cow! laws. Leviticus would be preferable to me. At least my heart knows it.