‘When she feels better,' you said, ‘after his recitals, when the kitchen will be finished, she'll be able to handle it, it'll be the right time.' You said this and poured more wine. I looked at the little suits of armour on the walls of the restaurant and imagined I'd never fit in them. I wondered if anyone ever tried to play the half size guitar screwed to the wall, or tried to brandish the shiny replica of the antique sword next to it. The whole place was a jumble of what someone believed Spain might be, decades and centuries fused.
We ended up at mine. There was time. All the way your mouthed moved the flesh of your face around, the tongue bulging from the cheek. What was driving you to crazy was a small piece of meat secretly nestled somewhere between your teeth. I didn't have toothpicks. You looked at me as if it summed up everything about me. The dog followed me to the bathroom where the door was open, I followed you because I couldn't let go of what we'd said.
‘There's a cabin…' I started talking about summer and where we could go and you didn't disagree. You said sure, book it, by then you'd tell her. You stood in my bathroom looking into the medicine cabinet mirror, poking your fingernail in between your canines and snapping part of it off. Then you picked up my bracelet lying on top of the toilet and placed the metal loop of the clasp between your teeth.
‘Got it!' You beamed as if it was some sort of victory. I looked at you and the dog looked too. You were still smiling. I watched the dog sniff the ground and lap up the tiny scrap of meat from between your teeth.
4
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Just written this today, I have no idea why. I don't have any publicaton record with flash fiction or stories. I think the lovely comments people were kind enough to leave yesterday have encouraged me to write a little something today. :)
Little suits of armour, indeed! Good story. Loved the resonance of the line, "You beamed as if it was some sort of victory."
thanks jack :) i sort of wished she'd put on the suit of armor and grab the sword :)
Another good piece, Angel. Strong characterisation and satisfying ending.
Fav
The details and the pace fit so well together here.
I like this:
The dog followed me to the bathroom where the door was open, I followed you because I couldn't let go of what we'd said.
thanks myra and michelle :)
Oh man, if this is a night with her lover... maybe she ought to look around some more!
Really nice!
thanks cherise! i have the feeling this may be the last night with her lover :)
It's the last - killer - line - that does it for me 'I watched the dog sniff the ground and lap up the tiny scrap of meat from between your teeth' - it 'fuses' the whole story together.
Interesting to me how the problem with the stuck meat arcs exactly with the conversation. She gets it out, finally, and they come to an agreement, finally and the dog gets the fallout. I like the simplicity of the story, the well observed details.Your voice conveys confidence, meaning, you make it look effortless, the story seems to unfold naturally. Fave.