I Wanna Do This

by Tim G. Young

I wanna do anything but this
can't keep my mind on the work at hand
hands down I'd rather be 
out dancing, sniffing cocaine
in the middle of a huge crowd
thinking about my next dance move
twisting my legs into sailor's knots
counting on my fingers and toes
each second of minutes
required passage from one level of
welcome high to the nexty next

strobe lights wash me up and down
and here is the hottest mad dancer of
the early morning black and loaded
rushed into a freeze frame
turned around fast and slow
shooting vodka
shooting the shots
shooting the girls across the floor
into white holes 
shaking volume
turned around bounced around
lifted across the ceiling around into
naked mezzanines adrift 
with another girl
so slow so fast rising like gas
I breathe in
it sprinkles me across legs and feet
high heels and sneakers
colors my spinning world
drifting back to the empty desk
blank page tearing my heart
into tiny pieces but I can't even look
at anything near descriptions of words
or meaning of reducing my face
reducing my rage thrown into the
bottom of the trunk
living close to flat tires and road kill
nearing the town of hell
on the move to journeys
journeys away away away
so far away
that I guess it doesn't matter anymore

And you forgot that I told you never to
look at me again to never breathe a word of my name
or sit in the same room with me again
Or I'll blow out all the pilot lights
and you will snort infinity tonight

Bet you didn't even notice all the clocks had
stopped since the lightning struck
now blinking excited to be in the reset
mode so I am so chillin' dude
I am frozen in the freezer
raging in the refrigerator
smoking the vape
clouds above my head
if it's Tuesday it must be Belgium
but could be Amsterdam 
and I'm damn glad it is
Damn glad I know the score and names of coffee shops 
I hide in under the tables
until the sun comes up
like the waves in the pacific
crashing on my back crashing in my head
turning  life around into unrecognizable 
short lived sentences
when I finally sit up in my chair
and see what I've done