When the Witness Calls
by Steven Gowin
Here they come, those witnesses.
They climb the steps with their literature.
I always answer the door.
I like seeing their kids all dressed up.
Love me those spic and span families.
They start in, but I interrupt.
I am not as polite as the witnesses are.
I just say, I don't have time.
Sometimes I tell them, I am an atheist.
The witnesses always keep calm.
They go away nicely and don't talk about me.
I suppose they must pray for me, me and my soul.
But I don't care one way or the other.
I really am an atheist, I think.
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Author's Note
Been on vacation... been tied up at work... been to France twice in a month. No time to write... except this.
Signed
A Modern Misfit
Other stories by Steven Gowin
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I like this a lot for its subject and even its homespun vernacular grew on me as I took in the poem's story. I tell the evangelists that I do read the Bible. I let them go over one verse with me. *
We witness differently, we do.
"been to France twice in a month."
Poor baby...
;-)
I hide from 'em.
Them lightning bolts sting.
I put one of those fish with feet stickers on the mailbox. Haven't had them since, but I don't know if it's the sticker or if they just haven't been by.
Though in college I did once answer the door half naked & it was Jehovahs.(I was expecting someone else.) I never got them again at that address.
I think, sometimes, about finding where they live, photoshopping a picture of Che Guevara on the cover of a Watchtower with Mao's Little Red Book for content and slipping it into their mailbox... but wouldn't that violate the Prime Directive? Two weeks later, Witnesses are marching up the street wearing black berets, giving power salutes and bellowing, yes, bellowing into megaphones, "Free Huey Newton....NOW!!"
Haha! Two of them came to my door yesterday, exactly as you described. I cowered in the shadows of my darkened hallway, waiting for them to leave. A true profile in courage. This piece works and really resonates with me. *
yes, those night stalkers.
Great phrasing - "I like seeing their kids all dressed up. / Love me those spic and span families."
Enjoyed this piece. Good form.
James. That would be hilarious. I've considered making some feminist pamphlets or vegetarian pamphlets or something and trying to convert them right back.
May their tread fall not find my porch steps.
Good piece. Simple up to the end. *
I received the same brochure with the picture of Jesus that looks like an Anglo-Saxon '60s English teacher. Good writing about the emotions stirred up by the Witness visits.*
Ah those unwelcome trollers of souls. Nicely put.