Geek Squad

by stephen hastings-king

Then I was standing in line at Best Buys because Geek Squad because laptop meltdown that required attention (all better now) and the guy behind me was saying, completely unbidden, that he "hates the new world order" and "wants to go back to a better, simpler time" like the 80s and I said "Big hair shoulder pads hell no" but he rolled right over it "when you could get a teevee from Lechmere's and there was a guarantee so the thing wouldn't break but now everything breaks and you have to buy some insurance policy from the store for a hundred I bought some headphones for fifty bucks and and the guy asked me if I wanted to buy some insurance for a hundred and I said 'No. When they break I'm going to throw them in the trash and never use that product again" and then

but only for a moment "That's what I says to him" and looks quite pleased with himself and then "When cellphones came out I predicted that people would be crossing the street while texting and get hit by drivers who were texting and it happens, I was right" nodding in agreement with himself "Now they say cellphones cause brain damage and make people grow horns" at which point, against my better judgment, I say "The horn thing's not true. The study it relied on was crap" and then he says "It's all crap I don't believe any of them, all these studies, they're all crap, the people do them all have agendas, it's all about money I don't believe any of them.."

At which point I was called to the counter. 
It was out of earshot. 

From time to time during lulls in the transaction I looked back at him, still waiting in line, now talking in a stream to someone else. I could see him saying the word "crap" again and again.