We soft boiled the free range egg, cracked it, and were surprised to find nothing in it. My mother sighed, as if the meaning of life had been snatched away before it was born. I cried because I wanted to own a chick and keep it in my hat. My brother said he wanted to add the shells to his breakfast cereal, just to make it crunchier. My father rushed to get the glue out of the drawer where he keeps all his headless statuettes.
What a wonderful piece. Each image adds such a significant layer to the workings of family connections. It's difficult to imagine a more perfect ending to this piece - making the reader develop an entire character sketch of the man who keeps headless statuettes in a drawer. Strong work.
I've just given this another read, noticing some interesting arcs - the "free range" (I wasn't sure about this at first reading) egg and the family members, who chatter and chuff freely. The implication ("glue") that something's been broken and needs to be put back together - by the head of the family, who himself favours "headless" statuettes. just great!
i don't mean to keep thanking people all the time for reading and liking my story... but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! amazing what 89 words can do.
and Fineggan, you're spot on. certainly the use of "free range" ,"glue" and "headless" was not accidental. PS i'm a bit new to fictionaut but hope to get round to reading some of all your work and adding you all as contacts, in fact looking forward to it...
I'm even more excited about placing a story with them. Staccato is publishing some amazing pieces like this, Nick Ostdick's, Ethel Rohan's, Meg Pokrass's, and on and on.
As Arlene mentions, the one line characterizations are AMAZING. I can see each one of these people. The father, especially, really gets me (or, rather, I get him).
really liked those lines. a world in 89 words (or rather: a world i an empty eggshell).
Excellent family portrait.
wow, two comments already! thanks!
now that is making every crumbit count...wow nora!
What a wonderful piece. Each image adds such a significant layer to the workings of family connections. It's difficult to imagine a more perfect ending to this piece - making the reader develop an entire character sketch of the man who keeps headless statuettes in a drawer. Strong work.
Lovely piece, really enjoyed it.
thanks, all! so nice to get all your positive comments...
I really love this. You do make every word count. And I love the ending!
This made my eyeholes happy.
Yes, I read this recently and loved it.
I agree with Cami & Sam: a fine portrait of a family. The swift one line characterizations are perfect.
I've just given this another read, noticing some interesting arcs - the "free range" (I wasn't sure about this at first reading) egg and the family members, who chatter and chuff freely. The implication ("glue") that something's been broken and needs to be put back together - by the head of the family, who himself favours "headless" statuettes. just great!
i don't mean to keep thanking people all the time for reading and liking my story... but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! amazing what 89 words can do.
and Fineggan, you're spot on. certainly the use of "free range" ,"glue" and "headless" was not accidental. PS i'm a bit new to fictionaut but hope to get round to reading some of all your work and adding you all as contacts, in fact looking forward to it...
Quite nice, Nora.
Excellent analysis, Finnegan.
I'm even more excited about placing a story with them. Staccato is publishing some amazing pieces like this, Nick Ostdick's, Ethel Rohan's, Meg Pokrass's, and on and on.
As Arlene mentions, the one line characterizations are AMAZING. I can see each one of these people. The father, especially, really gets me (or, rather, I get him).
You do a great job with 89 words in this amazing little story/prose poem. Star fave.
A super scene.