Aguilas Range
by Nate East
When I was thirteen and still lived in the desert I saw a ghost woman at the top of a dry waterfall in the foothills. I was resting on a rock when she crawled out of the scrub-oak bushes on her hands and knees not ten feet away from me. She hurriedly stood up and her plaid dress was shredded and dotted with cactus spines. I knew she was dead because her clogs didn't make any sound in the gravel as she stepped over to me and her eyes were white and porous like dried coral. She stared down at me silently but I said “there are better violets down the trail by the watering hole; it's dug out of the dirt; coyote and black bear tracks. The best flowers are there” and I pointed to the west with my whole arm.
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Author's Note
also posted on my personal website; unpublished
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This is amazing in its handling of magical realism and the ease of reader acceptance. Nice solid imagery, an interesting story and a twist that blows it all apart at the end. Nice.
So much in a small space. Always thrilled when I read pieces such as this one. The ending carries me away, opens me into something new - "and I pointed to the west with my whole arm." There's a poem by Gary Snyder that ends with the words - "and me back to my far far West". Great work, Nate.
Thanks Susan and Sam! Glad you liked it =)
i love this! i want to read more. i love the image of this girl's dress shredded and dotted with cactus spines.
'I knew she was dead because her clogs didn't make any sound in the gravel...' this just stood out brilliantly. a sideways attention to detail amidst powerful images.
fascinating telling. wonderful images. very good piece.
Thanks Lisa, Ajay and Brendan! really appreciate your readings :)
wow Nate...hope you find a home for this...terrific suspense, manipulation of very rich images: her eyes were white and porous like dried coral" anchoring the reader as well to the landscape and the bite at the end with the 2nd to last word.