Bunions
by Lisa Lim
Dear Wigleaf,
I am fascinated by my bunions that stare at me as I write to you. My father gave them to me. That and man calves. You should really see my father's bunions. They are as obnoxious as fuchsia bowling bowls. Every shoe my father ever owned was ripped apart by his bunions. Like tiny mice chewed a hole through his shoes. I remember my grandmother diligently mending his bunion-torn shoes with duct tape. She used duct tape to fix everything, from dangling hems of pants to broken shoes to rips in underwear. She said my vagina had teeth. I believed her. But it didn't bother me. Not like my bunions. I remember after landing my first job with health insurance, how I immediately splurged on bunion surgery. 18 accrued vacation days. Full medical coverage by Oxford. A chance to stare at my feet and think of them in red stilettos. They were to be the whores of the town. I imagined toes sucked by men and licked by dogs. Without a bowling ball of a bunion in sight. I couldn't wait. Plus, I loved the idea of dreaming under anesthesia. After months of crutches and swollen feet, they were finally gone. It took them two years to grow right back. Today, as I write to you, I wonder when they will start eating through my shoes. In any case, I am ready with duct tape.
Yours truly,
Lisa
Great, great, great. "Without a bowling ball of a bunion in sight. I couldn't wait. Plus, I loved the idea of dreaming under anesthesia." An amazing piece, Lisa. Big like.
wonderful lisa, and i'm not talking about your bunions (though i love them, too, by mere inclusion). for a mag theme "things that make us feel special"? like fungus? bunions from 'bunny', it seems they ought to be cute. how amazingly lucky we are to live in bodies!
"they were to be the whores of the town" wonderful line! I think its duct tape though, not sure. Enjoyable read!
Thanks Sam, Finnegan and Sara! Oops. Is that how you spell duct tape? My bad!
My friend has bunions and each year she plots her surgery & suffers in Manolo Blahniks. The writing here is right up.
Thanks Ann! I hope your friend finds a better orthopedic surgeon than mine:)
Whores n bunions. "It took them two years to grow right back." Cool piece:) I have an old buddy that refuses to give up on a pair of work boots for the sake of duct tape!
Delicious! ...er... i mean brilliant!!!!
What are "bowling bowls?" I'm only familiar with balls.
Love this! The voice and images in this piece combine to create something extraordinary.
Your “Beards” story on Wigleaf is exceptional as well.
Thanks S.H. Gall for catch. I think my subconscious saw bowling bowls. Like rice bowls down a bowling aisle hitting.
Thanks Christian. You made my day!
Ha, this made me laugh. If you haven't already, you should read Lauren Becker's piece on The Nervous Breakdown --
http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/lbecker/2009/12/he-prefers-bunions/
thanks david! i just checked out. really great piece!
Hilarious, Lisa. Splurging on bunion surgery indeed.