To Do List

by Kait Mauro

Put away the laundry: collect all of the empty hangers, be sure to feel a bit of resentment and a bit of pleasure while you do it, because it gives you a purpose. Be sure to feel resentful of the pleasure, because your life has amounted to this - because you thought you'd be more independent than this. Remember that the long pants get hung up but the shorts go on the top shelf, the one you can barely reach. Throw them up there but try to make it look tidy. Be aware that many people wish their lives would be this. Be angry with yourself. Make sure you are aware of how angry everyone else is with you, too. Not just for your ingratitude but for all of the other things. Try to become a little bit paranoid, just enough that you slightly overestimate how much they think of you at all.