by Julie Leung
When you wrote my name
the ink dripped black
Splashing hieroglyphs
onto sanguine paper
I can not understand
what has been carefully carved
in each stroke
Your good intentions
trace the journey
left to right
left to right
Every day, I write myself further away
From the East
Where we began
When you died in the year of the Dog
Father tied a piece of white yarn on my jacket
And they buried your body with my name
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Inspired by the grandfather who gave me my Chinese name, but died when I was too young to fully understand the meaning behind it.
A study in what is "lost in translation" so to speak.
The poem came alive for me in the final two stanzas. Forgive me if I'm intruding, as I've noticed not many folks here actually critique, but I think the attempt at "past, pass, passed" detracts rather than adds to the poem. I guess it's a matter of aesthetics, but I really like the finish where the imagery comes alive.