Short Terms Plans

by John Wentworth Chapin

I have been planning this vacation for months. I've heard people say that New York City is the gayest place in the world, and I can't wait! I don't think I've ever put this much into plans before — hotel, restaurants, museums, tours, shopping, bars, shows — it's going to be perfect. Every day is booked, but not in a bad way… in a very, very fun, perfect way. And when I say perfect, I mean perfect. I wonder if we'll see any celebrities. We're in the lottery for a couple of TV show tapings, even! People said that three months was too soon to be vacationing together, but I had a good feeling and I went ahead and booked it anyway. Our room will have a balcony overlooking Central Park, for God's sake! I can't wait! It's going to be expensive, but it is booked and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it. Walks in the park. Empire State Building. Ethnic food. Broadway! Broadway, for crying out loud! I can't wait! I have been singing showtunes my whole life and I am finally going to see not one but three Broadway shows in ten days. Is that the shizzle or what?

The only thing I am more excited about is the day we get back home and I break up with this miserable queen. I can't wait.