newsmakers

Well, yes -

"evoking a world of

cookies and gravy and

hungry husbands

and play doh scraped from

holiday floors--"

Wonderful piece. Great form and phrasing.

Oh, play doh. Just lovely - the "hungry husbands" and the ship that has neither come nor gone.

sam r, thank you.

and marcelle--thanks for reading this one.

Two thumbs up. Great visuals, G.

yes, life is damaged, but good that sometimes it shines.
I enjoyed this.

I like aspects of this poem. I like its central metaphors for life: damaged vacation and a ship that is standing.

Sam and I seem to disagree about cookies and gravy but not about hungry husbands. I don't like playdoh scraped from holiday floors because I feel the vacation metaphor is stronger left alone without a possible reiteration in the word holiday.

Although I do remember in real life my brother, I think, spilling red paint on wool carpeting at Christmas. The carpet was pale, greens and blues woven together to create a kind of sea or lake color. The solution was to cut the red paint splotch from the carpet and to patch it using a runner that had had less wear than the main carpet, not that the carpet was worn, but there was a color density variation.

So, if the poem can remind of that incident and that square in the rug--that we lived with in the living room as a metaphor--then it's a *.

At first glance, I read, "it's pointless grading" from a teacher's perspective and was all ready to assent heartily, but then I read further and understood your "it's pointless grading / degrees of reality" and assented even more.

Good poem, Gary. We all need to "listen to the pretty snowflakes."

thanks, all--

I esp like the opening sentence in this piece, because it sets the tone for the rest so beautifully. A bit of heartbreak, a bit of regret, a lot of wondering at how we've come to this point and where we're going (that ship at the end -- perfect!). Just lovely the way you do that with such an economy of words.

thanks, michelle--

I like this a lot. For me, the strongest bits are when it makes me listen to the snowflakes, the different language. When the undercurrent carries me completely.