Serpent
This slithering story hatched inside my head.
It grows and molts but won't allow itself to be penned.
It chases other newborns down and eats them.
Old skins and excreted remains of the swallowed
contaminate what once was sanctuary.
All the while it circles, snapping at
its twitching tail. It neither dies nor flees
but circles, growing long and fat.
It grows and molts but won't allow itself to be penned.
It chases other newborns down and eats them.
Old skins and excreted remains of the swallowed
contaminate what once was sanctuary.
All the while it circles, snapping at
its twitching tail. It neither dies nor flees
but circles, growing long and fat.
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21 comments |
61 words
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Other stories by Gary Hardaway
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I hear you, brother. I hear you.
I've been chasing this serpent all day.
Nicely captured!
Strong layers here.*
I know this serpent.
Conceptual genius here...
I relate!*
Great extended metaphor--"penned" made me smile.*
Order of the Serpent, I thank you all for reading and identifying with this piece. I'm very grateful for companions!
John, perhaps this is Neometaphysical or something given the extended metaphor (which, I learned long ago, can be called a conceit). Roll over, John Donne, and tell Andrew Marvel the news.
Powerful symbolism: layers of implication which span the depth of human experience since ancient times and beyond. *
I second the fave for "penned"!
Thank you, J. Mykell, for reading and writing.
Carol, English is so wonderfully pun rich though rhyme poor. Thanks for your attention to this piece.
Love this. It's so right.*
Thank you very much, Penny.
Yep *
Thanks very much, Robin!
Great pun!
Thanks, Bill.
Terrible Punmanship/
B-4 Apocalypse
Having some pun/
the rhyme poor poet/
pens notions and emotions/
among the sullen reads/
while waiting for the fall/
and grate God’s/
harvest of the soles.
Marvellous slithering of image. *
Thank you, Beate.
"Old skins and excreted remains" love the playful creepy language*
Thank you, Jane. It's good to have you as a reader.