Autobiography 22: It’s Not Just the Income
Unless they leave you comatose,
it's the disasters you remember.
The dream jobs, lost.
The good jobs, lost.
The marriages, lost,
as consequences of the lost jobs.
It's never the economic turmoil
but the psychic eviscerations
that lead to estrangements.
What you thought yourself to be,
your value and standing, vanishes
as the economic vagaries suck
the self into a death spiral of new
valuations equaling zero.
I was neither resilient nor ambitious
and the consequences slapped me down,
twice. I recognize my current value:
almost nothing and falling fast.
it's the disasters you remember.
The dream jobs, lost.
The good jobs, lost.
The marriages, lost,
as consequences of the lost jobs.
It's never the economic turmoil
but the psychic eviscerations
that lead to estrangements.
What you thought yourself to be,
your value and standing, vanishes
as the economic vagaries suck
the self into a death spiral of new
valuations equaling zero.
I was neither resilient nor ambitious
and the consequences slapped me down,
twice. I recognize my current value:
almost nothing and falling fast.
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Author's Note
Sad personal history
Other stories by Gary Hardaway
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Poignant, and sadly true for so many of us in this materialistic culture. The only way out, as I see it, is to shift to a different set of values with corresponding expectations, and fuck the toxic "American Dream."
*, Gary. “...the self into a death spiral of new evaluations equaling zero.” Such an uncompromising assessment using the hard truth. I like this excellent poem.
*, Gary. “...the self into a death spiral of new evaluations equaling zero.” Such an uncompromising assessment using the hard truth. I like this excellent poem.
Sorry. Another double click on my goddamn iPad.
Sadly true for many.
Thank you, Matt.
Thank you, David.
Thank you, Erika.
Such a sad read.*
Thank you, Tim.
This is heartbreaking. A well written heartbreak *
Thank you, Foster.
But, you express it so well....