by Fred Osuna
Storm II (April 27, 2011)
The tornado drops bits of Tuscaloosa in Birmingham yards: shingles, chunks of insulation, a bank deposit slip, a woman's swimsuit.
Post-tornado, people shop for replacement storage sheds; a clerk diverts their attention from the crumpled one in the parking lot.
He's been without power for days, complaining. At work, people buy flashlights, tarps and chain saws from him. Now he feels lucky.
Electricity courses into his house, waking it after a four-day nap: the AC vent yawns, ceiling fans stretch, the refrigerator groans.
My CA cousin FB-messages my SC mother to ask how I am after the AL tornados. Mom then phones to tell me.
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True stories from tweets.
Loved the last sentence of Storm 2. And the one before it; I can hear the house waking up, coming to life. Interesting that you built the story from tweets; were they your tweets, or a composite of other people's? Either way, good portrait of pre- and posst-storm. Might be interesting to have a 'during' as well.
very nice! we don't have storms like that out here.
Storm II seems a bit more staccato than the first section. I like where it ends, but think the last paragraph could use some smoothing over to end with more resonance. I want to hear the phone ringing at the end more.