Two Writers play Modern Warfare
by Frank Hinton
I sign on to my Playstation account. I start a Bluetooth chat with my roommate Noel, who is up in his room on his Playstation. After a great deal of peer-pressure, Noel has convinced me to try a hand at online warfare. I decide to take a break from my Lego Star Wars addiction and play this grown up game.
Noel: Hey.
Frank: Yo.
Long silence. Clicking noises.
Noel: So what do you want to do?
Frank: I dunno. I've never played this before. I'm probably going to suck.
Noel: Team death?
Frank: What is team death?
Noel: It's where you are on a team and your team has to kill everyone on
the other team.
Frank: And we win if we kill everybody?
Noel: No. When they die they come back to life right away.
Frank: So it is an endless battle?
Noel: Well every kill gets points, whoever has the most points wins.
Frank: Ah.
Noel: Extra points if you shoot them in the face or the back of the head.
Frank: Okay, let's do that one.
Noel: Just let me get my weapons ready.
Frank: I'm recording this game. I think I'm going to write a story about it.
Noel: Don't record this.
Frank: Why?
Noel: Because sometimes I get really into the game. I say things I wouldn't normally say in life.
Frank: Well, just don't say them.
Noel: Fuck Frank, why do you have to ruin everything? If I can't get into a round I'm going to mess up. If I can't taunt or egg people on or call little 12 year olds demeaning things then I'm not going to get a good score.
Frank: So?
Noel: So if I get a bad score my standings on the international ranking boards goes down. And I am ranked 23,000. Do you know how long that took?
Frank: The game's only been out for two weeks and that doesn't sound like an achievement.
Noel: It's 23,000 out of 1, 250,000 people.
Frank: Oh.
Noel: Do not record this.
Frank: Okay, I won't. I was just trying this new thing where I transcribe conversations and then post them on fictionaut or something.
Noel: Why? Why would you do that?
Frank: So I could have something to write about, something to post.
Noel: Shh, just shut the fuck up. The game is starting.
Frank: What is the shoot button?
Noel: R1, shut the fuck up. And don't talk to me on here, I don't want people to think I'm friends with a noob.
Frank: Okay.
The game loads.
Mafukaz37, DharmaPolice, Deth666Rain, Worms34872 and Dolon sign on. My login name is Dolon. Noel is DharmaPolice. We are fighting in an arena called Afghan.
A dissected plane fuselage rests at the center of the map. We are surrounded by various desert mountains, caves and concrete bunkers. I start to move when my screen fills with blood. A pop-up comes on:
Deth666Rain FIRST BLOOD. Deth666Rain has killed me.
Deth666Rain: Ahh Dolon. What a gay name.
Dolon (me): It's not gay.
Deth666Rain: Fuck you faggot.
Dolon: Dolon was a spy during the Trojan War. He disguised himself as a wolf in order to help Prince Hector. He was very fast and cunning.
Deth666Rain (Noel): Don't give a fuck.
DharmaPolice: Shut the fuck up Dolon.
I am killed again, this time by Worms34872. I have yet to shoot my rifle.
Worms34872: Noob.
Dolon: Worms34872- what? Was Worms34871 taken?
Worms34872: No that's my postal code you fucker.
Dolon: Why would you put your postal code up here? Someone could send you a letter bomb or a box full of snakes.
People laugh into their microphones.
Worms34872: Shut the fuck up noob.
As I am thinking about other postal delivery traps Mafukaz37 stabs me in the back. I watch as my character falls lifelessly to the ground. I press the square button and I am instantly revived.
I see someone walking in the distance. A lone soldier crawls through a thick nest of grass. There is a small garden in the middle of this desert wasteland. I crouch my character and sneak up behind him. The soldier doesn't see me. I aim my weapon and pull the trigger.
Suddenly points appear on my screen, my gun recoils and the soldier lays dead at my feet.
DharmaPolice: Fuck you Frank.
Dolon: Oh hahaha! That was you.
From behind gunfire erupts. I run into a nearby building.
Deth666Rain: Almost had that fucker.
Dolon: Is this every man for himself? I thought we were playing on a team?
DharmaPolice: Yeah I decided to do free for all.
Dolon: I see.
I take a step and my foot triggers a claymore bomb. I fly backwards, dead. I press a button and I am alive once more. I start to feel a rush of energy. The thrill of killing someone, the lack of consequence for dying; this game is fun. I find two more soldiers running around the desert arena and make quick work of them. My reflexes begin to adapt. I die many times but I also kill many times.
Dolon: Fuck you mother fucker!
I press my finger hard onto the shoot button. I fill Worms34872 and Mafukaz37 with bullets. I run away.
Dolon: Who's a noob now? Fucking shit fuckers.
DharmaPolice: Wow. Not bad.
The game ends. I come in fourth out of five. Not bad. All in all I murdered fourteen times. I died twenty-five times. We play the game for two more hours. I feel immortal, I feel like a warrior for the first time in my life.
Noel: See what I mean? The game is sick.
Frank: Sick. The sickest.
Noel: Hey.
Frank: Yo.
Long silence. Clicking noises.
Noel: So what do you want to do?
Frank: I dunno. I've never played this before. I'm probably going to suck.
Noel: Team death?
Frank: What is team death?
Noel: It's where you are on a team and your team has to kill everyone on
the other team.
Frank: And we win if we kill everybody?
Noel: No. When they die they come back to life right away.
Frank: So it is an endless battle?
Noel: Well every kill gets points, whoever has the most points wins.
Frank: Ah.
Noel: Extra points if you shoot them in the face or the back of the head.
Frank: Okay, let's do that one.
Noel: Just let me get my weapons ready.
Frank: I'm recording this game. I think I'm going to write a story about it.
Noel: Don't record this.
Frank: Why?
Noel: Because sometimes I get really into the game. I say things I wouldn't normally say in life.
Frank: Well, just don't say them.
Noel: Fuck Frank, why do you have to ruin everything? If I can't get into a round I'm going to mess up. If I can't taunt or egg people on or call little 12 year olds demeaning things then I'm not going to get a good score.
Frank: So?
Noel: So if I get a bad score my standings on the international ranking boards goes down. And I am ranked 23,000. Do you know how long that took?
Frank: The game's only been out for two weeks and that doesn't sound like an achievement.
Noel: It's 23,000 out of 1, 250,000 people.
Frank: Oh.
Noel: Do not record this.
Frank: Okay, I won't. I was just trying this new thing where I transcribe conversations and then post them on fictionaut or something.
Noel: Why? Why would you do that?
Frank: So I could have something to write about, something to post.
Noel: Shh, just shut the fuck up. The game is starting.
Frank: What is the shoot button?
Noel: R1, shut the fuck up. And don't talk to me on here, I don't want people to think I'm friends with a noob.
Frank: Okay.
The game loads.
Mafukaz37, DharmaPolice, Deth666Rain, Worms34872 and Dolon sign on. My login name is Dolon. Noel is DharmaPolice. We are fighting in an arena called Afghan.
A dissected plane fuselage rests at the center of the map. We are surrounded by various desert mountains, caves and concrete bunkers. I start to move when my screen fills with blood. A pop-up comes on:
Deth666Rain FIRST BLOOD. Deth666Rain has killed me.
Deth666Rain: Ahh Dolon. What a gay name.
Dolon (me): It's not gay.
Deth666Rain: Fuck you faggot.
Dolon: Dolon was a spy during the Trojan War. He disguised himself as a wolf in order to help Prince Hector. He was very fast and cunning.
Deth666Rain (Noel): Don't give a fuck.
DharmaPolice: Shut the fuck up Dolon.
I am killed again, this time by Worms34872. I have yet to shoot my rifle.
Worms34872: Noob.
Dolon: Worms34872- what? Was Worms34871 taken?
Worms34872: No that's my postal code you fucker.
Dolon: Why would you put your postal code up here? Someone could send you a letter bomb or a box full of snakes.
People laugh into their microphones.
Worms34872: Shut the fuck up noob.
As I am thinking about other postal delivery traps Mafukaz37 stabs me in the back. I watch as my character falls lifelessly to the ground. I press the square button and I am instantly revived.
I see someone walking in the distance. A lone soldier crawls through a thick nest of grass. There is a small garden in the middle of this desert wasteland. I crouch my character and sneak up behind him. The soldier doesn't see me. I aim my weapon and pull the trigger.
Suddenly points appear on my screen, my gun recoils and the soldier lays dead at my feet.
DharmaPolice: Fuck you Frank.
Dolon: Oh hahaha! That was you.
From behind gunfire erupts. I run into a nearby building.
Deth666Rain: Almost had that fucker.
Dolon: Is this every man for himself? I thought we were playing on a team?
DharmaPolice: Yeah I decided to do free for all.
Dolon: I see.
I take a step and my foot triggers a claymore bomb. I fly backwards, dead. I press a button and I am alive once more. I start to feel a rush of energy. The thrill of killing someone, the lack of consequence for dying; this game is fun. I find two more soldiers running around the desert arena and make quick work of them. My reflexes begin to adapt. I die many times but I also kill many times.
Dolon: Fuck you mother fucker!
I press my finger hard onto the shoot button. I fill Worms34872 and Mafukaz37 with bullets. I run away.
Dolon: Who's a noob now? Fucking shit fuckers.
DharmaPolice: Wow. Not bad.
The game ends. I come in fourth out of five. Not bad. All in all I murdered fourteen times. I died twenty-five times. We play the game for two more hours. I feel immortal, I feel like a warrior for the first time in my life.
Noel: See what I mean? The game is sick.
Frank: Sick. The sickest.
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Author's Note
A story about what the world of online video gaming consists of: homophobia, senseless aggression and murder without consequence.
Other stories by Frank Hinton
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Very real in approach to form and dialogue. Makes me think of William S Burroughs. Interesting piece.
Damn this was just hellishly fun to read, Frank.
And so well done. Great concept. And the Naut even makes an appearance. I almost laughed out loud twice, and I've only laughed out loud reading three times ever in my life.
FUN!
yes nice, script plus prose. can really imagine this...though it is a world that people over 40 don't seem to hold nuance in. is it promotional or protest?
Thank you everyone...Burroughs- interesting.
there you have it: "I feel immortal, I feel like a warrior for the first time in my life." i may have to let my students read this out loud in class. i suspect they enact frank and noel at night and come to class charged and unable to follow my sermon. great piece.
whaddayamean "murder without consequence". me thinks you do not take this world of gaming seriously.
ha ha, who's a noob now? also loved "don't record this"
So good Frank....loving this...
so, is it a transcription? It's perhaps a naive question . . . but I think this form is just as valid as 'pressing it.' Visions of Cody is a a transcription of Keroac & various others . . . this is, perhaps, a new take on automatic writing.
I'm with Sheldon. Truly LOL.
Dialogue is prfct.
And I agree with Finn, I have students who try to write about videogames and this is the first time I've read something that really pulls it off. Yes, I have somewhere to direct them now. Very cool.
A riot to read. My gawd! I'm not a gamer, but now I wanna be.
Invigoration at its height. Fave for sure.