Neatly Creased Newspapers
A sharp line separated her lips, like something sketched with a pencil. Same with the eyes, closed but not quite, slit-windows to the world. Maybe she took in her surroundings, but I don't think she did.
Tables strewn about the sidewalk resembled an obstacle course. Rain had run most everyone away, but the rain had stopped and I sat outside. A few tables down, she sat outside, too. People paraded past clutching closed umbrellas like lances, ready to impale anyone in their way, but she paid them no mind. She had made herself alone; I wasn't there, nor was anyone else.
Beneath her coffee cup was a newspaper, laying flat like a placemat. I was unsure why she would withdraw from the world, yet buy something designed to pull her back in. Then I realized the paper had not been opened. Maybe she had been seduced by a headline and bought it on impulse. Maybe it had been left there by someone else.
An associate joined me and followed my gaze. “My God,” he said. “I've never seen anyone so sad.”
I turned to him with a quick and disapproving glare. When I turned back, she was standing, and then walked on. I watched her until the crowd closed in, until I was no longer sure which one she was. On the table her coffee cup sat atop a newspaper, still neatly creased, still unread.
“On the contrary,” I said. “She just might be the happiest person I've ever seen.”
|
12
favs |
879 views
12 comments |
263 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Something about the times we're in reminded me of this story.
Other stories by Foster Trecost
Tags
This story has no tags.
I enjoyed this text very much and this person who "paid them no mind. Nice observation of this scene.
A glimpse of a strong moment--
The image of the woman walking on, leaving behind what was expected to define her.
The world we see, generally, reveals more about ourselves than it does about the world - since what we see is not the real world.
Great closing comment on the moment. Good flash, Foster.
*****
Fantastic last sentence. *
Irresolution and ambiguity work well here as the structural features maintaining narrative tension, to my provincial eyes. Economical evocation. (I would make the pencil in the opening sentence "sharp".) Good work.
A story worthy of the Kuleshov workshop!
Nice work, Fos.
*
Thank you all for reading and commenting. I love your insights.
Bill, I've spent the lat 15 minutes learning about the Kuleshov effect...fascinating. thank you for that, too.
You've captured the experience well. That stranger we notice and will never know but leaves an impression. Powerful piece. *
Nice, Foster. She must be happy not bothering to read the news, sigh...
"...until I was no longer sure which one she was."
Love that.
Interesting how the "I" changes from a pure narrative device to being a true physical embodiment due to the appearance of the second character. This telling of story via the gaze of the observer is a basic cinematic idea - a kuleshov editing process if you like. Anyway, very nicely done.
Another fine piece of work, Foster. She seems more unaffected than sad.