Mouth Manifesto
I want you to kiss me like you're listening to my tongue. I want you to hear the rhythm of my heart through my lips. Can you feel what I'm telling you? If you're entering my borders, it doesn't matter where - my mouth, my pussy, my ear... you'd better pay attention if you wanna get inside. I'm not a display for you to wander around in, I'm a place for real transactions. No window shopping allowed here...
You think I'm pretty? Invite me to tea. You wanna feel my breasts? Ask them if they had a hard day at work. Conversation is an aphrodisiac to them. If you're this close to me, I promise we've got something in common besides the weather. I need to know that what's inside of me is as important to you as I think it is.
Here's the thing. There is going to be an exchange here - of fluids, of breath, of you, me, you, me, you, me, oh my god, yes. It's gonna be like that. So don't leave me out of it.
Don't think I don't know how you like to watch me. If I walk in front of you, it's hard for you to concentrate on anything else, I know. There's nothing like being admired. I wash and scent and trim and shape myself for you. I love your gaze upon me, peeling away my layers, thinking about me inside out. But the irony of disappearing from view when you finally get close enough to taste me. Aaah, that's enough to break the toughest spirit.
I'm not even sure what I'll say when we get there. I might not say anything. I might just listen to you. But if you're paying attention, you'll hear me listening, too. Have you ever heard someone else listening? It's a soulful taste for the brain. And when I do speak up, oh, the luscious sounds will paint you with my desire. You'll be drenched in it. You won't be disappointed... listen...
You think I'm pretty? Invite me to tea. You wanna feel my breasts? Ask them if they had a hard day at work. Conversation is an aphrodisiac to them. If you're this close to me, I promise we've got something in common besides the weather. I need to know that what's inside of me is as important to you as I think it is.
Here's the thing. There is going to be an exchange here - of fluids, of breath, of you, me, you, me, you, me, oh my god, yes. It's gonna be like that. So don't leave me out of it.
Don't think I don't know how you like to watch me. If I walk in front of you, it's hard for you to concentrate on anything else, I know. There's nothing like being admired. I wash and scent and trim and shape myself for you. I love your gaze upon me, peeling away my layers, thinking about me inside out. But the irony of disappearing from view when you finally get close enough to taste me. Aaah, that's enough to break the toughest spirit.
I'm not even sure what I'll say when we get there. I might not say anything. I might just listen to you. But if you're paying attention, you'll hear me listening, too. Have you ever heard someone else listening? It's a soulful taste for the brain. And when I do speak up, oh, the luscious sounds will paint you with my desire. You'll be drenched in it. You won't be disappointed... listen...
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Author's Note
These days I'm trying to write in a more personal, fearless way... free form, yet with structure...
Other stories by Deborah Oster Pannell
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this is really great, really fearless, have you posted to other groups within Fictionaut?
"You wanna feel my breasts? Ask them if they had a hard day at work." v.good, like the humor
Thanks for the comment LA. Your words mean a lot to me. I finally jumped in! Now I gotta figure out the group thing...
Nice work . I love the rhythm... The paragraph that begins, “Here’s the thing...”
Thanks Steven. I definitely try to keep a natural pacing, so that's good to hear...
Strong voice in the piece - "Here's the thing. There is going to be an exchange here - of fluids, of breath, of you, me, you, me, you, me, oh my god, yes. It's gonna be like that. So don't leave me out of it."
I agree with Steven's comment about rhythm here.*
Thanks, Sam... nice to know that is working...
Here's the thing. There is going to be an exchange here - of fluids, of breath, of you, me, you, me, you, me, oh my god, yes. It's gonna be like that. So don't leave me out of it.
I really like your voice. *
Thanks Penny. I appreciate that very much.
I love the voice of the second person very specific, definitive instructions. Well done.
Thank you for that very encouraging comment, Gloria. I appreciate detailed notes like that.
Oh yes. BIG fave for this one. I'm fixing to steal "I'm not a display for you to wander around in, I'm a place for real transactions."
Ha ha, Gita! I love that... thanks for the comment!
pretty brilliant.***
"Have you ever heard someone else listening?" sells me on this piece. It's indeed "a soulful taste" and I don't even need the location tag "for the brain." Thanks for pointing up this wonderful experience (the achievement of hearing someone else listen): a miracle so obvious that we often forget its presence; and need some good, lucid writing to remind us to notice. Thanks for posting!
James, Willie, thanks so much for your generous comments. Just finding them now... wow, it's so gratifying to have my intentions well received by other writers... you guys are making my day... :)
OOoooo, luscious, honest, sexy, authentic, lovely writing.
Thanks Tantra!