Casual
Slip me in
Between the cracks in your schedule
Between the sheets of your bed
Between your memories and your fears
Between your eyes and the moon where I'll twinkle at you
Slip me in somewhere, I won't disturb you
Won't make you want to push me away
Let me be soft and pliable and shape myself
Around you
I've forgotten to be cool
I've forgotten to be casual
I want everything right away
Because I can see how we fit together
For now the only thing I can lose is my vision
So slip me in and we can both be blind
And find each other in the dark by our heat
We will not be the kind of lovers who eat each other
But the ones who curl around one another to sleep
And slip out before the harsh light of dawn.
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Other stories by Deborah Oster Pannell
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Nicely done.
"We will not be the kind of lovers who eat each other
But the ones who curl around one another to sleep,
And slip out before the harsh light of dawn."
****
Thank you very much Gary, Rachna... :)
*, Deborah. I really like this. So warm.
Thank you, David... I'm so glad it comes across that way...
I...I...I think you've just seduced me. *
Lovely poem, Deborah.
*
(You don't need the comma between "moon" and "where." You don't really need the others either. Take them all out except maybe the one after "somewhere"?)
Especially like the juxtaposed imagery of the closing lines. Good poem. I agree with Bill about the commas. *
Thanks for that, Mathew...
Bill and Sam, I took your advice about the commas. It's feeling much more open to me now, more flowing. Interesting, freeing myself from their tyranny...
*
I'd take away the last line.