by David James
I don't know how long I was down on the curb. When I came around it took several minutes to realize that it wasn't the moon overhead at all but a street light and the sticky feeling stuff I was lying in was, yeah, my blood. And the hand on my shoulder wasn't hers. I think the siren brought me to and the hand on my shoulder came with it.
Lonesome in marriage got us where we were. She got that way. I got that way. Dumb got us to that place to eat. Smart got him there. His tire iron got me to the curb.
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Ouch. *
What a nightmare, well told in few words.
Strong closing. I like the piece, David. Good punch.
Very crafty and compressed. I like it.
Ouch is right.
Thanks, Jake, Carol, Sam, Gary and Amanda. I really appreciate that you took time to read this weird liittle piece.
F****'N awesome David! *
That's a great sharp thing, David.
*
So few words and so much story! Fave.
Short and not so sweet. Well done.*
Talk about economy. This is a pleasure to read. And this line - Lonesome in marriage got us where we were. - is just flat out exactly enough information.
damn sure fine!
solid as always.
Thanks, Michael, Michelle, Nonnie, Gary, Pia, Meg and James.Thanks for taking time to read and comment on this little thing.
"Lonesome in marriage got us where we were. She got that way. I got that way. Dumb got us to that place to eat. Smart got him there. His tire iron got me to the curb."
Fabulous! Love this.
(Now what if the story BEGAN that way? Where would it end up?)
Thanks a lot, Bill Yarrow. I appreciate your comment, Also, the question you pose of where might this squib might end up is a good one.