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You Left Forever Sitting on my Doorstep


by Darryl Price


 

 

and I'm staying here where I am a while (longer). Who  knows

where the time sleeps? I don't think I'll ever catch

up with you again. That's the same lame novel I'm always stepping  

into to read the next sign from. It's a good enough story I suppose, but the

ending always remains the same horrified, last sad awakening of

the younger poet self to the old man sleeping. Now you've impossible stacks of new blue smoke

 

enshrouded manuscripts being thrown on top of a bright hot blaze that's

already written (and sounding slightly blotchy to me). I'd like

to burrow my way out of the whole mess and

be done with it, but that would take some major

letting go. That's what I'm having girl trouble with. I

still care. I don't want to abandon you to the

 

prescription wolves and the violent Parchesi termites of dead fashion just because they've

come to the door with all their right papers and official

stuff soft on their glove. I owe you. You gave me so much

more of my own life than I would otherwise have

been aware of. It might sound silly to you but I appreciate

your soulful notes of noises. It made the insufferable differences into something interesting

 

to watch. Gave a tragic notion, but motion nonetheless. It

unfroze the harm done all around me. Look, they were

very much never going to understand this dreamlike vision of

yours, or mine. By then they were already sure of

their own places as inexplicably physical. But we were new

to the whole youthful world gang thing. We had possibilities galore. We wanted

 

peace to be the right answer every single time, not just in the abstract. We weren't

the pretend kind of lovers. Things blossomed right into our faces like diving into water.

We were just that close to the ground. So when

you left so suddenly I saw a horizon I didn't recognize

as being plausible anymore and that really scared me into many tiny pieces. I

once saw a great tenderness allowed to express itself frequently in

 

your intent gaze and upon your uniquely shaped brow. I saw the meaning

of  certain kind words give birth to an eternity of meaning. I was

not afraid to laugh like some people are now. And that's

the very bearded point of view I guess of this outstretched letter

of mine. It's not over on my part. We were

new to the whole eve of disaster thing happening on over at

 

the nightly news station. I saw a lonely child fall into

an ugly raging river. You helped wipe the insane wet from our worried

faces. This can't be misunderstood, forgotten or denied by me

now or ever. You can continue on your journey as

you will. As for me, I'll shine off you ‘til

it's my turn to step within the curious limitless bounds and sink away into yesterday all by myself.

 

 

 

 

notesection breakthe ones that eat away yesterday

 

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