you've swallowed a whale bone and not a whole
chicken. It's not about being surrounded
by very nice stuff. We always thought
there was much, much more than haunted walls inside
cold castles. People connect the dots like
collecting stamps. Things get colder all the
frigging same. Feels pretty empty from here,
without your complicated faith in your
own sad misunderstood dreaming. I'm not
trying to say it so they won't hear it.
They can hear it if they want. I was so
lonely I wrote love songs. I am lonely
in love with you. There's no more to it. I
am the one who chose to be this poet.
No one forced me to lay about. I think
you know my head was exploded around
it, in its beauty, to its end. Now I
must continue to write these letters to
no one because I can't stop blowing up.
But someone may still receive them. Probably
not while I'm alive. People live like
they are racing to the gold cup finish.
We always said there has got to be more
than all the uninterrupted silent
tears, the violent fears. I believed you.
I believed you. I believed you. Believed
you. People count the times they try through the
night. It doesn't matter. It all adds up
to the same lying thing. A sky full of
stars. An ocean full of sand. Only the
moment sets us free. But we are chasing
butterflies instead of being met as
butterflies. I think you know some things just
won't work without love. Maybe nothing does.
Nothing does. I'm sure of it. And now this
particular letter starts to close in
on its origami swan self , pushes off
towards another far shore. It's been much
too long. Nothing leads me back to you, nor
needs to. I found you, the smile's on my face.
Bonus poems:
Upside Down Jesus
by Darryl Price
The upside down Jesus was first seen in a bowl.
What kind of bowl has been up for considerable debate
ever since. With hilarious results if you read the internet
like a newspaper. What's he doing in there, one lady
was heard to ask no one in particular. He's giving
us the peace sign. You sure that's a peace sign?
Why is he smiling so much? It makes him look
nutty. Shouldn't he be pissed off? I mean look what
they did to the poor guy. His hair looks nice
though. I wish he'd say something profound. But upside down
Jesus never did. He only smiled and gave the dubious
peace sign to all who dared to have a look
inside the bowl. Well, I think he shouldn't be upside
down at all, said a man in a moustache and
tweed jacket. It's very disrespectful to say the least. Very
unprofessional if you ask me. Who does he think he
is? This is an interruption of normal everyday life and
I won't stand for a bit of it anymore. Whereupon
he left the area and was never seen or heard
from by anybody ever again. By sunset the ever growing
crowd had turned into a festival of sorts. People were
selling all kinds of things with Jesus' image on them.
Tee-shirts, key rings, cups, pastries and even panties. Musicians played
little happy tunes on their guitars. The crowd was laughing
and eating, slapping each other on the backs, and taking
turns staring into the bowl. As the sun began to
set the image also began to fade with it, but
it never did right itself. Where's he think he's going,
various voices were heard to ask all over the place.
Tell him to stay right where he is. And don't
move a muscle. Please. Someone. Stop him from fading away
from us. Stop him. A priest stepped forward and asked
upside down Jesus to stay. We need you, he said.
Upside down Jesus smiled. They say his smile was the
last thing to go. That and his eyes. But again
there's a terrible debate over the accuracy of this whole report.
When I Go
by Darryl Price
you won't feel a thing. When I go you
won't believe a word I said. When I go
a little brown sparrow will visit your sleeping hand
and bring you his dirty French fry. A lost
gold ring will be found in the tall grass
by children playing with a new toy gun. When
I go the music will turn itself into a
dream color of unheard music. The kind you remember
liking but can't remember why, coming from a stranger's
open upstairs window. When I go I'll try to
quietly remove my broken heart from your waking vicinity.
You won't feel my energy for writing these rainy
day poems, playing piano with just a few lonely
fingers anymore, anymore. When I go you won't be
found hanging around. When I go I won't bring
you down that road. We will quit being anyone else
but strangers in the bright hot afternoon winds. Clouds
will get better seating. When I go you will
get dressed up for a Hollywood Halloween, eat some
bland breakfast cereal at your mother's and drive to
the local farmer's market and end up buying something
you've never tasted before. It will make you happy
in the car. It will make you cry in
the driveway. You will end up throwing it all
away. When I go a brown paper bag will
do. When I go I'm going to quit trying
to explain my actions to anyone. When I go
I'm going to reflect my art into the jazzed
up dancing tree limbs, shake all the leaves north
and south, east and west, writing down that wall.
When the Light Goes Dark
by Darryl Price
You are going to make another war. I am going
to make a fine paper swan. You are going to
plant a grim bomb or two. I'm going to plant
a Bodhi tree and look for the artful moon entering
my room. You always seem to be chanting on about the
courage it takes just to die. I sing about just feeling
kind of sad, perhaps you've heard no other whispers about love's price.
You are going to count your money all alone. I
am not going to bother with counting all the stars. You
are going to run over something that once wept real tears.
I am going to lift my eyes for them. I am going
to lay my hands on their wounds. You are going
to smoke something truly foul and push the smokey lies through a million
pointy teeth, which are really chimneys, which are really buildings,
which are really dirty windows. I am going to forget
to always be the first one. You are going to pretend you
can't find your heart. I am going to walk with
the ones who need a friendly cane to get along
and belong. You are going to look away behind a
steaming plate full of signature fries. I am going to
let someone else laugh in the perfect places. You are
not going to bend backwards to be made any better. I'm
placing this poem here for you. I'm on your dream radio. Listen.
I'm not waiting to hear the ultimate truth. You're the missing clue.
So glad you have a swan.
"And now this
particular letter starts to close in
on its origami swan self , pushes off
towards another far shore."
Strong image and lines. I like it. *
Darryl: good work, in the distinct pieces and in their presentation together. The oscillations of "you" and "I" in "When the Light Grows Dark" seems to center all three pieces and reprises the origami swan from "I Think You Know That" (would it then be amiss in the last piece to say: "I am now becoming a fine paper swan"? --or: "I now become an origami swan"? passing ideas).
Again: good work.
Strannikov--excellent advice, my friend. Thank you all so very much for reading my work. I shall endeavor to always do better because of you.