Invasion
That summer crawled with them, insects of every denomination: cicadas caught by the cat, wingless, came to rest in the roots of the garden we planted; sudden swarms of dragonflies whose ominous shadows danced dragony, unstinging kisses on our sunburnt shoulders, whose flight patterns warped a disruption in the glimmer-bright wavering of the pool's window reflection. And ants. First on my clothes, then in yours, in every bathroom, along every wall: desperation stingingly embodied. When they began to crawl into my dreams--courting your shirt collar like the gathered energies of a midnight slasher, ringing your neck, swarming your arteries, collaborating for the very blood in your veins--I knew it was time for a disintegration.
This is strange and perfect in it's way of seeing! Priceless!
My favorite line is the dragonfly shadows dancing dragony, unstinging kisses on our sunburnt shoulders..
Love this.
A tasty, visceral piece, this. Gorgeous, raw wordplay.
I like the way that physical presence - "cicadas caught by the cat, wingless, came to rest in the roots of the garden we planted" gives way to darker workings: "ominous shadows" and "warped a disruption". That works well to set up the ending. Enjoyed the read.
Love this too, Cynthia. "Courting your shirt collar" the ants are a "midnight slasher." Wonderful!
like marcelle, i really liked the courting your shirt collar line, and i could smooch "time for a disintegration"
very nice work
What I love about this--aside from the horror factor--is the pace being set by the sentence structure. It moves in fits and bursts of new revelations, using commas on longer sentences to allow the reader just that slight pause before rushing on. I also like the conflict of expecting such an invasion to be "outgrowing", becoming larger and while it does, it also focuses inward getting into arteries, etc.
A lovely morning read!
This has a terrific build to it. I love that slow rhythm in the beginning, the subtle use of alliteration with "cicadas caught," "sudden swarms," then the change of pace with "And ants."
Very sense-oriented, all of them, inside and outside the body. Wow.
And Cynthia? Which bayou? I was born in Houma.
Cynthia, spare and biting, worked really well metaphorically with your ending that had a visceral effect on me.
my reading of this beautiful piece is now on youtube at http://bit.ly/4VzaEG
Thank you, Susan!
FF, many heartfelt thanks for an outstanding reading.
"time for a disintegration"
Yes, exactly.