by Ann Bogle
His thoughts went astray when she wanted to. She wanted to surmount his parameters. It was a figment of her imagination, not his. His imagination was at the driving range. Methods of obligation glided by. He wept to see her misunderstand his duties. The hurry up call for midnight was always late. “Chime in!” she hollered from her side of the bedroom. Her bedroom was in the kitchen as they agreed. He watched her prop her leg on a stool to examine her toilette. His mood swings were difficult despite lavish elbow room. She put copies of Lydia Davis' Collected Stories in every room of the apartment. Petunia notwithstanding. He was in the habit. He gave her his driving range and she gave it back. She didn't know what a bogey was. Arms akimbo he smiled and licked the China cat by the window. The cat had no name, not like Lydia. Therefore, the boomerang ideal made sense for a change. She asked him to cower in the living room. Although he was a Luddite, he persevered. She placed a cushion near the loveseat to give him the position. But then stargazing became lackluster like lukewarm soup. “That would be a good name for a male porn star," he said, "Luke Warm.” His name was Lucas, and he was shy and obedient. Her name was Hattie, a gendarme's muse.
Filibustering was fun but insincere so they went north. She set a mile marker outside the cottage. That made him think of sex and think three times. Hang the chandelier in the kitchen, she counseled.
Altruism was not a noun but a verb, and they kissed. She bit his lower lip and he tapped her jaw. The origami in his head was approaching maniacal, but he remained subdued and willing. She fingered the laces of his plaid flannel knickers. Her on again, off again approach was threatening, but after further analysis, he complied. It was like licking butter on an ear of maize. Suddenly the phone rang; it was his ex-lawyer calling from Lithuania. “Get me a bucket,” Lucas said to Hattie. The focus was not a metaphor; it was dyspepsia. “He's jelly,” Hattie offered him the phone.
by Tony Sanders and Ann Bogle
April 28, 2010
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A collaborative story by Tony Sanders and Ann Bogle (April 28, 2010).
We spoke alternating sentences over the telephone. I transcribed them in pencil.
Good work people, at least my Lithuanian lawyer says I can. I like these rapid play-off-each other type works. I had not read the author's note first (as is my habit), so I didn't know it was a comp, I didn't notice any seams, you must've been hitting cylinders. Deliciously quirky, an eagle from the fairway.
I love this! It did special things to my brain!
What a wonderful world you both created. So many interesting sentences and the whole is simultaneously fantastic and yet weirdly, wonderfully rooted.
Loved "His mood swings were difficult despite lavish elbow room."
This is a fascinating collaboration, especially as it was apparently spoken and then transcribed. The opening line sets the mood: I love the "back and forth" that thenceforth ensues between the "him/he" and "her/she" characters, mirroring the constraint in a very "meta" way while, at the same time, transcending it. Very entertaining and "well-written." Indeed, the spirt of Lydia Davis seems to infuse this short-short fiction...
~m
Walter, Stephanie, Cherise, Marc: thank you for your varied and insightful readings -- all useful.
We thank you on our birthday --May 2: his, May 3: mine.