1992, What I Wanted

To be a backup dancer for Billy Ocean; that's all.  I had chubby legs like a baby.  They turned out akwardly as if I had broken hips but mum said it was just the way I came out and I would grow out of it.  I knew Billy Ocean would want me as a backup dancer or part of a dance team.  I'd do the roger rabbit at my audition.  I'd wear my neon spadix bike shorts to stand apart from the other women wearing pink or purple.  I would act like I didn't need work.  I'd feel like Paula fucking Abdul.  I wanted Billy to look at me and know I was the one.

At 8 years old I wanted to screw Billy Ocean on the set of the Caribbean Queen.