by Zack Wentz
chee wik onna twinnee-turd end mebbe izza klirk orra sekataree end I wik onna foddee-siks end see ha allod goin aron so I siz wanna hevva dayt? end chee siz OK end siz mi playz o yooz? end chee siz chee onna sikksee-ait end I siz WO I nevva binder end chee siz liz doo min din end I siz OK end chee siz I mik yooa rabid end I siz WO end chee siz chee godda unkill onna hunnerd-fivdeen end hee godda rabid fam inniz clozzit end diz unkill sellum fo beeg munee end heez da unlee rabid famma inna bilddin end I siz WO end chee siz chee geddum free end I siz WO end tink mebbe chee doo summin spezzel fo diz unkill end I siz ow uld izzee? end chee siz heeya hunnerd end twinnee-wun end I siz WO end tink mebbe nut den end siz OK end chee siz kumovva ed sivvin avter I dun wid wik end I siz OK end I go bik ta wik end tink aboddid end memmerwin wee wiz liddull end wud go tooda grillz end siz yoo evva kizza rabid atween da erz? end chee siz NO end din yoo siz yoo wanna kizza rabid atween da erz? end chee siz OK end yoo pull yoo pokkiz owdda yoo panz end yoo siz KIZZ KIZZ end lav end lav end lav end I wiz tinkin aboddad end wayddin end finlee id allmoz sivven end I go dun ta sikksee-ait end fin ha inna kaddalog end go ta ha playz end tudg da buddin onna do end chee oppinz id end chee loogz gooood end I siz yoo loog gooood end chee siz tangz end wonchoo kummin? end I siz yez end wee sid onna kowdg end chee siz I lik yo har id ull yello end wit end I siz tangz end noddiz chee hazza sam kulla har end I siz yoo godda sam kulla har end chee siz I NO I lik id end I siz OK end chee siz I bedda go shekkon da rabid end I siz OK end chee goz end din chee skreemz end I siz wud? end runnin end cheez ovva da did rabid end da erz ar towaff end chee siz yoo sikko! yoo bid da rabidz erz offa da rabidz hid! end I siz NO I wiz inna udder rum da hull tim end kuddenda bid da rabidz erz uff end cheez goin krazzee end I siz WO end I siz mebbe yoo dogerkad bid uff da rabidz erz end chee siz I dun godda dogerkad end I siz OK end chee siz I juz mik da rabid end I siz OK end gobbak tooda kowdg end wayd end tink mebbe cheez krazzee end allazuddin chee kumzowd end chee god nuddin un bud chewz end I siz WO end chee puzh mee bik end geddon end lav end lav end I siz WO end chee siz I noyoo din bid da rabidz erz uff end cheez rubbin un mi ding end I siz WO OK end chee lavz end chee siz I nohoo bid da rabidz erz uff end I siz hoo? end chee siz reel lowd inna skreem IDID IDID IDID
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This piece was published in the Debra Di Blasi edited issue of Mad Hatters' Review, accompanied by an audio version (which might help some to get through the thing; it's still there if you'd like to have a listen).
It took an incredibly long time to write, and *might* well be the most successful piece of SF I've managed to craft thus far (according to my own criteria, which I'll attempt to elucidate elsewhere in the near future).
WO
I LOVE this, this is great. So excellent!
Thank you much, Cami.
Might be *almost* as much work to read as it was to write, so the effort is appreciated;}
You are grand.
It was wonderful to read! I was impressed at the consistency!
Of course, this is wondrous wicked, Z. Di Blasi was guest ed, but who had the final word/s?