Snuggie your Life Away

by Teresa Houle

Who is the moron that invented the Snuggie?
It's a fleece-tent with sleeves,
I thought they were kidding me.

Is our society so torpid?
Yet, bursting with cash?
That we will buy anything,
That warms our white ass?

The new designs are out;
I can look like a zebra
While I flick my clicker
And watch some more Oprah.

And don't get me started on Snuggie for dogs,
Anyone who buys that deserves to be flogged.