Test Day

by Teresa Houle

“Did you study for the test last night?”

“For a bit, then Survivor came on and I got distracted.  Did you?”

“Yeah, till, like 3 am. I barely slept and now I can't remember a thing.”

“Dude, watch out, you almost stepped in that!”

“Sick!  Who just chucks on a sidewalk?”

“Let's skip the test and do make ups later.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Go skate.”

“I need new bearings, these ones are near shot.”

“Let's go to my place, I've got some.”

“Okay, cool.”

“Dude, what is that?”

“What is whhhaaaa…holy shit.”

“It's crying!”

“Call the cops.”

“Pick it up, you know more about babies than I do.”

“Shhhh…it's okay baby.”

“I need an ambulance, we found a baby in a ditch.”


“Dude, is the baby warm?”

“Not really, I think it needs a diaper too.  Probably starving.”

“Keep the baby awake, dude.”


“Just keep it awake she said.”

“Baby!  Look at me baby.  Keep those eyes open…ya, hi baby.  Stay awake long enough for the ambulance to get here and get you safely to a hospital.  BABY!  Stay awake!!”

“Don't shake it, dude!”

“I wasn't shaking it.  I just moved it to keep it from dozing off.  Baby?  BABY!”

“Is it okay?”

“It's super tired now.”

“I can hear the ambulance”

“Hey baby, you're going to be safe.  You are going to be fine.  Stay awake and the good guys are going to make sure you get a nice warm house to live in with people who love you.”

“Yes, the ambulance is here, thank you.”

“Hurry up!”

“He says to take the baby inside the ambulance.” 

“They aren't just going to take it?”

“Guess not.”

“What are you doing? Why are you undressing the baby?”

“I learned about this in science.  She needs to be skin on skin with a warm body to absorb the heat.” 


“Ya, she.”

“C'mon baby girl, you're going to be okay.  Oh my god, she's cold!”

“Hold her tight, you're keeping her alive right now.”

“How am I supposed to hold her tight when this thing is flying down the road?”

“Deal with it. You're the only thing keeping her warm.”

“We're on a beach in Maui, we're in a tan…what?  Hum?”

“Just do what he says!”

“Hmmm. Hmmmm.hmmmm…hmmmm…hmmmm…”

“Dude, you're crying.”

“Shut up.”