More Corpses

by strannikov

            We walk like corpses, grin like corpses, stink like corpses. Corpses with ear hair, corpses with ear wax, partisan corpses, corpses with curiosity, corpses with cricks in their necks, corpses with appetites, corpses with a taste for adorable, sweet, and precious things―things in themselves corpselike. (There are corpse fashions, the latest styles for corpses.)

            Corpses with moustaches and clicking jaws. Corpses wearing black leather. Corpses with bare rudiments of taste. Corpses with wide hips. Corpses with wide-brimmed hats and rude manners. Corpses without literary taste. Corpses who travel, commute, and vacation. Corpses who climb stairs, corpses who take elevators. Corpses with backpacks and earbuds. Corpses with cellphones. (No surprise: corpses with corpse cellphones.) Motorcycling corpses. Corpses who sigh or grimace. Corpses wearing too much gold jewelry. Corpses with hard lives. Intellectual corpses. Athletic corpses. Meteorological corpses. Musical corpses. Ballet corpses. Corpses, corpses, corpses―mounds and piles of corpses, pounds and miles of corpses.

            Corpses with stuffed shopping bags. Corpses wearing green trench coats. Corpses with fat wallets. Corpses with loose change. Corpses who speak fondly and confidently of “tomorrow”. Corpses that shave each day. Corpses that still wear ties. Corpses that limp however much or slightly. Corpses that still wear watches. (I once saw a corpse buried wearing a watch.) Corpses that are routinely late. Corpses that are inordinately lazy. Corpses with large feet. Corpses with skinny necks. Environmentalist corpses. Corpses craving to be associated with beauty, glamour, and celebrity. Celebrity corpses and corpse celebrities. Untalented corpses.

            Young and old corpses. Male and female corpses. White corpses, black corpses, brown corpses, tan corpses. Clever corpses. Chess-playing corpses. Day-lit corpses. Nocturnal corpses, sedentary corpses. Socialist corpses, capitalist corpses. Blond corpses. Unhelpful corpses. Corpses in Chicago and elsewhere in the County of Cook. Fraternal corpses. Civic corpses. Corpses with expensive diamonds. Faithless corpses. Animated corpses. Dead corpses.

            Corpses with double chins. Corpses with shit for brains. Brainless corpses. (Most lawyers are corpses, and, concomitantly, not a small few of available corpses are lawyers.) Corpse contractors. Automotive technician corpses. Pest control corpses. IT corpses. Economist corpses. (I would cite here “corpse plumbers”, but I fear being misconstrued.) Ambulance-driving corpses. Homeless corpses. Deadbeat corpses. Panhandling corpses. Philanthropic corpses. Murderous corpses.

            Corpses with cuff links (corpses with cuff links and cell phones). Opioid-addicted corpses. Corpses with tinted hair (and, alas, corpse hairdressers). Coughing corpses. Sniffing corpses. Corpses with hiccups. Gesturing corpses. Squinting corpses. Indisposed corpses. Movie-going corpses. Corpses with page-boy haircuts. Corpses that keep diaries. Corpses with hearty laughs. Corpses who wear shawls and ponchos. Scarf-wearing corpses. Corpses obliged to carry heavy luggage. Transient corpses. Smoking corpses, of course.


            ―but I am remiss: I've not mentioned corpses with spectacles, suburban corpses, working corpses (ha! ha! ha!), nervous corpses, married corpses, corpse accountants, corpses with acetate fingernails the color of exposed photographic film, barfly corpses, child and infant corpses, church-going corpses, choir corpses, bald corpses, red-eared corpses, dozing corpses, huffy or officious corpses, lecturing or hectoring corpses, haranguing corpses, vain corpses, Mardi Gras-attending corpses, corpses who read magazines in waiting rooms, teenaged corpses, gaming corpses, socially mediated corpses, corpses with corpse pets, truck- and bus-driving corpses, corpse conductors (whether of trains or of orchestras), corpses living in apartments, home-owning corpses, impatient corpses, erudite corpses, frugal corpses, tattooed corpses, raging corpses, constipated corpses, pool-cleaning corpses, egotistical corpses, solipsistic corpses, unemployed corpses, scuzzy corpses, ugly corpses, calculating corpses, flatulent corpses, insured and uninsured corpses, jogging and juggling corpses, skateboarding and bicycling corpses, rope-jumping and pole-vaulting corpses, rock-climbing corpses, corpse skaters, security guard corpses, corpse chauffeurs, academic corpses, journalist corpses, other celebrity corpses (some thespian corpses, included)! So many corpses! Too many to be overlooked, too many to be counted!

            Numberless corpses . . .


                                              -ET CETERA-