masters of their trade

vampires seem not to be victims of drought,

they never run short of creeks and streams,

no matter how shallow or weak the pulse.

 

when coffins are ferried downriver to ports

so that they may take sail on black seas,

the fiends find ferrymen willing to oblige,

 

for pay much higher than Charon ever earned

on a single trip across the Styx

(though he, too, had to depend on one-way fares).

 

these seedy Nosferatus and rank Orloks

are never overwhelmed by torrents

in spring or by cemetery-sweeping floods:

 

such masters at judging fluid dynamics—

trained with the skills of hydraulic engineers!

so respectful of nature, always tidy,

never permitting nasty spills or wild leaks.

 

next time I need a plumber, I call at night.