Stroller Mania
by Steven Gowin
Strollers. Been there; done that. Don't let stoller mania suck you in...
Get something cheap and light at Target. Trash hell out of it. Encourage baby to urp up in it. Make sure it gets a little bent but folds up without taking your finger from the first joint.
Let it be hoseable. You want to spray it down; get it spic and span. It should dry on its own after 20 minutes in the sun. Don't look at what moms in the park are using. They're dilitantes, pretenders, and trust fund mommies headed for divorce in five years anyway.
This is the last I'll say. Slap a Rolling Stones or other wild man rockers bumper sticker on its back. Baby won't care, but you must enjoy.
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Author's Note
Advice for a friend (with a stroller age child) who is suffering stroller purchase anxiety.
Other stories by Steven Gowin
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Good advice, well presented.
Okay, first - you get a fave because the title alone made me laugh.
Second - you get more faves if you write the sequels - "Strollerball" and "Stroller Derby"
Third -
"Make sure it gets a little bent but folds up without taking your finger from the first joint."
You get a fave because that sentence alone summarizes my entire college experience.
I'm done now.
hose it down favorite
Crash boom. This is true and rocks in every way. *
Good writing, Steven. "Let it be hoseable. You want to spray it down; get it spic and span. It should dry on its own after 20 minutes in the sun."
Enjoyed.
Immediate and brilliant, and I'm not even a parent.
Haha!
"stroller purchase anxiety"--I remember it well!
How I wish I could have had this attitude! It would have saved me so much grief. A bumper sticker. Perfect! But...will my baby hate me?