She is face down in the snow slumped like she had expended herself in examining what is produced through interactions of crystalline structures of ice and automobile exhaust and she is walking on bear paws across the surface of a white balloon riven with cracks and gullies that gives way beneath her weight through zones in which edges and generalized shapes open onto the patterns that are worlds unfolding themselves, geometries made of tiny sounds and irregular concentrations of debris that entropy has been scattering through the mud like slow-motion underground snow.
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a construction.
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YES.
Wow. This is breathtaking. Love the one sentence structure. *
Well done. Great breath here. Wonderful closing.
Fantastic! WOWSAH! *
Amazing little piece, every word perfect. Peace *
Well done, Stephen!
Very good.
I recommend reading Stephen-Paul Martin. He mines a similar vein.
thanks very much for the reads and lovely comments on this piece. they're much appreciated.
this comes out of walking home a friend of mine who was in her cups one night last week. she declared herself tired and lay down in a snow bank. before i could react, she had passed out. it took some doing to get her home.
A wonderful sentence, that moves forward and expands simultaneously, capturing a world.
For what it is worth, I keep re-reading this piece, and in my head I keep eliminating "in" before "examining" and "what is produced through". Just a cent's worth of opinion.
You should drop the Hastings and reclaim your birthright.