We do not make the most of situations

by Sarah Ciston

We do not make the most of situations.

We do not follow advice from parents or well-meaning friends. We let our bad attitude be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We do not write back to friendly emails. We do not want to hang out with you, we just want to know that we could if we wanted.

We do not get involved in organizations or clubs. We cry in public at inappropriate times. We cry in private and maybe drink in private too and write it all down even when it is awful.

We do not send out finished work.

We do not ignore the fact that somewhere, out there, there are great geniuses, not us; we do not know how not to let that intimidate us.

We let that stop us.

We do not say the phrases that would smooth things over.

We do not ride bicycles or bring our own reusable bags to the grocery store. We recycle plastic containers, but ignore the fact that we should not have bought them in the first place.

We do not call ourselves smokers. We smoke cigarettes one after another and then do not smoke for months so we can call ourselves non smokers.

We get paranoid about protection; we still take risks, but panic afterward. We know the unthinkable has no ultimate prevention, that people get knocked up all kinds of ways, hit by cars or unexpected news, though we like to think we would know what to do if that happened.

We do not know what we would really do.

We do not sing at karaoke even though our voice is probably fine.

We do not stop you when you tuck our hair behind our ear and whisper something into it. We will not stop you when you do not talk to us again.