I saw a woman
at the bar tonight
sitting by herself
drinking light beer and
trying to talk to the bartender
when he walked by
but he wasn't impressed
no one was
her hair was dirty
thin and cracked
and her face
looked haunted
and her makeup
was shoddy
and there were
deepset wrinkles
that went on for days
around her mouth and eyes
she took shots of Patron
like candy
and was wearing something
like what you'd find
at the Salvation Army
but not in a trendy way
I avoided eye contact
we all did
and eventually she left
shuffled out and looked back
only once
then it was quiet
and everyone
regained their composure
but I realized that
with her gone
the light had suddenly
gone out of the place
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Inspired by real life events...
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So interesting. I like the flow of this, the intensity of the details... And I in no way saw the ending coming. I'd like to know more about this woman; the poem makes the reader want more.
Great form and voice in this piece, Robert. I like it.
Thank you both. I'm actually quite curious about the woman in question myself, but there's something about not knowing I seem to prefer.
Nice. And I agree about not knowing. Room to wonder & dream is always good.
was it light or something else that had gone out, that's my poetic question.
i know the kind of presence you're talking about and how it's unsettling in a place where, as Hemingway said, men go to meet unattached women
there's always something, in my opinion, wretchedly beautiful at a bar, any bar.
nice poem. I love it.
I, too, found this compelling, and like Michelle, was completely surprised by the ending. Really nice work.
the wrinkles that went on for days
the salvation army but not in a trendy way
just great
and then, of course -- the end. NICE
Thanks, Sara. :)