eve
by Rene Foran
it is finished
he rolls over
to the side of his bed
pulls his tube socks on
the ones with the red rings
at the top
she lies there trembling
wrapped
in his baseball sheets
suddenly shy
it has begun
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Author's Note
first
Other stories by Rene Foran
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The Hopeless Romantic
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sex (sometimes in the first line)
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"And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked ..." Genesis 3:7
A fine image, American style.
Love the detailed tube socks.
thanks James.
for reading, commenting and loving.
Rene
I really like the closing here, Rene. Nice work. Good piece.
thank you Sam.
"she lays there trembling"
Grammar calls for
"she lies there trembling"
Otherwise, the reader is bounced out.
"wrapped
in his baseball sheets"
Love that detail especially, Rene.
Thanks Bill..I keep you busy :)
I wonder how many folks bounced out of here after seeing that error?
heh
Rene
"I wonder how many folks bounced out of here after seeing that error?"
Probably just me!
heh, Bill..
you didn't bounce, though
you stayed and offered suggestions for improvement.
Mighty nice of ya :)
Rene
Nice work! *
Thank you Kim!