The Trappings of the Rabbit
1) It would glisten like a light but on most days I was full throttled, bolted against a wall.
2) Suffocation, and turned to the off position; darkness, then a light gray is much better when the oxygen slowly stops because all will go black soon enough.
3) There are things in the process of decay that wilt, leaves that mold and turn to deafening, cagey, storming dew.
4) Recombinant growth occurs with newness tomorrow.
5) Darling, soon enough the battle for sin and violence, hedging bets against a netherworld shape for beauty, ill kept secrets for sun and dance, sun and moon-shaped universes in the sky.
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love the structure, imagery *
Personally, I don't like your numbered separation of statements.
I know it's your thing, but...
I say LET them touch each other, conjoin, battle it out amongst themselves, meld...
But that's just "I" speaking
(and "I" just got done cleaning up a pile of dog poo, so what do "I" know?)
I like this a lot but I agree that the numbers feel more intrusive in this piece. Not sure they are as needed here as in other places I've seen you sequencing images and words.
I like that third part especially.
Yes - "There are things in the process of decay that wilt, leaves that mold and turn to deafening cagey storming dew."
That will stay with me. Good writing.
Thank you so much, folks. The numbers are a device i use because i cant organize my mind properly, when reading it, you dont have to actually speak the numbers, do you?
i never speak the numbers they are just devices and i thought this was a progressive venue like art, and art therefore can be interpreted in multiple ways: visually etc.
"3) There are things in the process of decay that wilt, leaves that mold and turn to deafening cagey storming dew."
Powerful, an oak door fashioned by escape artist hands.
Thank you Sheldon, I love your comment so very much, renders me disarmed.
Thank you of your comments, i find them constructive and helpful.
I find your writing very lush and beautiful. The numbers don't bother me, but at the same time, I'd like to see you do a piece without them, just as a challenge.