Miracle Bra for my behind

by Lisa Lim

I call my mother up one morning and say, Hola! Que tal? Bien! Y tu?

You are my Nina Bonita. My Nina Locita Bonita, she plays.

Do you want an ass mi Nina Bonita? I buy you jeans that work like a Miracle Bra for your behind.

No thanks Ma. She knows I can't fill skirts because my ass is Chinita flat, not Latina round like hers.

She insists, this way when you fall down you won't hurt yourself. You have some cushion. Tu entiendes mi Nina Bonita? Pero, be careful because on Sabrina's talk show, they had this one girl who got behind surgery but one part of her behind still droops. Now she walks around with one sagging behind while the other one is high and gordita. Surgery is dangerous. Don't worry, I buy one for you. I make sure the price is special.

Gracias mi madre. But, no thanks.