Miracle Bra for my behind
by Lisa Lim
I call my mother up one morning and say, Hola! Que tal? Bien! Y tu?
You are my Nina Bonita. My Nina Locita Bonita, she plays.
Do you want an ass mi Nina Bonita? I buy you jeans that work like a Miracle Bra for your behind.
No thanks Ma. She knows I can't fill skirts because my ass is Chinita flat, not Latina round like hers.
She insists, this way when you fall down you won't hurt yourself. You have some cushion. Tu entiendes mi Nina Bonita? Pero, be careful because on Sabrina's talk show, they had this one girl who got behind surgery but one part of her behind still droops. Now she walks around with one sagging behind while the other one is high and gordita. Surgery is dangerous. Don't worry, I buy one for you. I make sure the price is special.
Gracias mi madre. But, no thanks.
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Author's Note
Unpublished.
I always envied my mother's behind. But at least she taught me how to posture my body so that I would appear more bootylicious. Thanks mi madre.
this is a quirky winner, Lisa! I love the ass w/ one drooping side! The mother trying to control her daughter with a better, fake ass.
"Don't worry, I buy one for you."
HA!!! A lovely piece - funny and really odd!
Thanks Meg! My mother is such a funny woman. She will be happy to hear that her conversations make other people laugh. She cracks me up daily.
Enjoyed reading this piece.
Thanks Sam! I'm excited to start writing again.
I love that; mothers can make everything all better with a kiss or a miracle buns bra.
"Pero, be careful because on Sabrina's talk show, they had this one girl who got behind surgery but one part of her behind still droops." This sentence captures the mother so perfectly. The voice and writing is perfect here.
Great stuff all around.
I liked this, Lisa. Enjoyed especially the play with languages, the lacing throughout. Good stuff.
So happy to hear the good feedback! Muchos arigatos.
Very nice.Funny stuff.
Thanks Grant! My mama is funny!